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Saturday, March 5, 2011

The By - Election Festivities

As you all are aware, every Harry, Dick and Tom are now writing nonsense about our beloved country, latest the fellow with a funny name Mallot or Hammer which  I am not very sure, making our law Minister very angry with his bad writings. The lady from Mongolia who came for a holiday with her very passionate hobby of playing with fire crackers, and her misadventure while playing with the assortment of made in China rocket fire crackers like C4 is being made a big issue, this together like the case of the fellow charged for corruption of Ringgit twenty million, and who have problem with all the Ah longs of KL, when he jumped from a tall building known as Wisma Mussalam, and committed suicide. What’s the big deal, when people want to die jumping from tall or short building? That‘s not a very big issue at all.

 And now with these Sodomee and Wantan mee problem, tell all those busy bodies from the West, that we can only cook Sodomee because we have long experience cooking  only this dish from 1998, as you know we can only cook what we know best, not wantan mee or mamak mee for sure. To solve this problem, ask Datuk JJ our Ambassador in US to take a full page advertisement in New York Times, giving in detail our recipe of Sodomee: problem solved.

Now I  like to come to the point, when the fellows from Hindraf, Bersih and others come to the streets of KL to protest, with all the stupid causes and reason, they are coming there to get free baths and  to revel with the high pressure water, which our Police dutifully sponsors and takes great pain in supplying and spraying for the  people to enjoy, sometimes lazed with attractive colors to make it more pleasurable, and regarding tear gas, latest studies from reputable Universities from Somalia and Sudan has shown that tear gas is good for the eyes. So what’s the big deal about all these demos? You see, all the good things that the government does for the rakyat,  the west will continuously talk bad about us, these scenes of demos are deliberately captured by the Satellite TV channels and broadcasted repeatedly for every hour for days, surely they are working in complicity with Jewish and American conspirators to bring us down. This makes our PM very unhappy. So all these negative propagation of our country’s reputation can be overcome when we fully utilize our by-election festivities and prove to the world that what a caring government we have.

We can portray and reveal to the whole world that how concerned and committed are our leaders for the wellbeing of the people. You can see our leaders are always ready at the spot to render all the necessary assistance to the people in distress. We can show how smiling and sporting can our Deputy Prime Minister, grinning until his ears, hugging and kissing the poor kids in the rubber plantation, kampong and New Villages, contrary to the wrong perception lashed by the opposition, accusing him as a mundane person and one who never knows how to smile. We can showcase to the world how we tackle water supply problem by instantly approving projects of water treatment plants, giving grants for the creation of community fire fighting organization, giving lavish dinners with beautiful sexy girls and lucrative prices plus the most valuable price of all, the One Malaysia T shirt.

Allocations for new mosques and suraus, paying of outstanding utility bills, redeeming of jewelry from pawn shops of the poor people and other great deeds are executed for the benefit of the masses. Resurfacing of roads even it means ten kilometer of road for a single house is efficiently carried out. Where in the world you would see Chief Ministers and Prime Ministers attending, funerals, marriages, circumcision ceremonies all making  the by election festivals merrier and this are carried out all at tandem, these love and feelings of concern shown by our leaders are just exemplary; who says our leaders are all self centered. This breaks all the myth of false accusation about our leaders propagated by the opposition. The attendance of great statesman like the esteem and honorable personalities like Che Umi Hafilda only enhances the celebration, with her beautiful speeches, and the way she articulates her trade mark middle finger makes the whole nation proud; I think this is one of the reason why our Prime Minister is proclaimed as the best moderate Muslim PM of the world. Our First lady the all benevolent all loving Datin Seri Rosmah is just a pleasure to watch her in action, showing her love and tenderness for the helpless and underprivileged.

 More emphasis, prominence and publicity should have been given to the DPM’s benevolence in performing the ground breaking ceremony of Tamil School, which brings tears of happiness and euphoria among the Indian electorates. This together with the philanthropic government donation for the spiritual upliftment of the Indian population, one hundred thousand ringgit for temple; and helping poor dairy farmers are good example of governments commitment to help the Indians, falsifying all the wrong publicity and myth the opposition are artificially creating issues like the Interlock, name calling Indians as drunkards, pariahs and beggars and the Chinese as children of whores. Which actually are no issues at all.

 All these show of concern by the government for the by-election seasons must be properly utilized in promoting our country as a tourist haven, wide publicity must be arranged with the western media to correct their wrong perception about us. Show them that we are a truly united country taking good care of the needs of all the races of the country, and these by-election festivities are good example of that. With all these true reporting about our country our FDI can be definitely increased multifold.

Lastly I like to emphasize something regarding the disparaging remarks they make about our Submarine which cannot submerge, tell all those people that in Asian culture its bad omen to talk about submerging and sinking. Worse to worse we can sink the submarines by creating artificial reef as crab breeding grounds, by this we can cleverly redeem our investment in submarines, and sell our crabs and branding them as ‘One Malaysia Crab’.

Happy By-Election Festivities.

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